[personal profile] shandra
Carl and I had a week at the cottage with quite a bit of his family and mine even stopped by briefly. It was great relaxation. I slept a lot, more than I have ever slept before when I wasn't sick. Gestating is hard work. I never appreciated this before. :)

It was a nice time to reconnect and also get centred for some of the ripple effects of my pregnancy like oh my whole life changing and some immediate possibilities being abruptly cut off and my grief around that. I am still blissfully and immensely happy in a way that is unusual for me. Scared too; terrified, often, that we won't be good parents or I'll eat some bad thing that causes a huge birth defect. And yes, grief and sadness and a little bit of feeling trapped now and then; nothing major except to recognize what a huge shift this is and that it's not just an inevitable ramp into joy.

Going back to work today was hard though. In my mind I have moved on. In reality I need to work to the due date. :) Although things as usual are unstable there and by Friday we should hear if layoffs are likely.

Shandra

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shandra

September 2006

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